


Glory Glory

by Perfica



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: 3000-6000 Words, Angst, Drama, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-30
Updated: 2006-03-30
Packaged: 2017-10-14 12:26:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/149225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perfica/pseuds/Perfica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John can't believe his eyes, and Rodney isn't backing down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glory Glory

Sheppard wasn't a stupid man.

He knew that, if you put enough men together - virile, fit, bored and busting for action men - there was bound to be some inappropriate behaviour. The kind of inappropriate behaviour that nine out of ten guys would pass off as a one-time thing or, if it wasn't just the one-time, something that had absolutely no bearing on their relationship with their wives, mistresses and girlfriends.

So it was something that was known but never discussed. Sort of like 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' although John would bet a million bucks that there were seamen giving each other a friendly hand and mouth in their tiny quarters a long time before the current policy had come into effect.

In Basic it was a certain toilet block; far away from the barracks and the mess, way out from normal traffic flow. The MP's never seemed to patrol that area as thoroughly as they did others, so it just took some fleet and quiet feet to get there. The lights never worked in that block, so you never quite saw who you were sucking off, or who was sucking off you.

In Afghanistan there was no need, and no opportunity. The local whores were friendly and cheap. Being in close proximity to your crew left little opportunity for sneaking off, and the fact that you didn't speak the language was another nail in that coffin.

In Antarctica, the chance to get some R and R in New Zealand didn't happen that often, but when it did, _man_ , did you go to town. Discreet clubs, pounding music, a week off to drink and smoke and fuck, and as long as you turned up for your flight in time, no one gave a damn about how trashed you looked.

When John rounded the corner and saw McKay with his back to the wall, one of the Marines pressed up into his face, he thought that he'd turned up just in time to stop the scientist from getting his face bashed in, and to prevent the need for disciplinary action on the broad-shouldered Marine. But the look on Rodney's face made him stop in his tracks.

Rodney was smiling. No, make that smirking. He was eye-to-eye and toe-to-toe with the grunt who looked vaguely familiar to John, and he didn't look like he needed any help at all.

John stayed back in the shadows.

Rodney was talking slowly, his voice a lower cadence than usual, and his hands gestured in the air, their movements mesmerising and adamant. The grunt tilted his head, nodding carefully at whatever it was Rodney was spouting. Rodney's head tipped back and he chuckled. The grunt grunted, then lowered himself to his knees.

John's hand went straight to his crotch, squeezing the erection that had painfully appeared. No way. There was no way he was seeing what he was seeing.

But Rodney was leaning back against the wall, his pelvis thrusting out towards the reaching hands of the Marine, who carefully undid Rodney's pants, pulling them down enough so that Rodney's erect cock bounced up into the air. John hoped that the hiss that had escaped his clenched teeth was covered by Rodney's moan of relief.

As blowjobs went, it was pretty standard. The guy sucked, Rodney thrust, and within minutes he was tucking his flaccid dick back in his pants. The Marine lifted himself off the ground gracefully, murmuring something just out of John's hearing, but Rodney was shaking his head, nimble hands making short work of the buttons that overlay the obvious erection in the guy's pants. Seconds later, the Marine had his back against the wall, pants pulled down to his knees, eyes closed and lips being bitten as Rodney jerked him off in hard, economical pulls. Rodney looked distracted; eyes focussed on a patch of floor a few metres away from where they stood, almost as if he were trying to calculate some sort of trajectory rather than getting a guy off.

When it was over, the Marine stretched his hands above his head in relief while Rodney cleaned off his hand with a scrap of material lying next to his bag.

After buttoning himself away, he clapped Rodney on the back with a grin. "You're not bad, McKay."

"Don't let it get around," Rodney replied, sorting through the bag, "or else I'll be the most popular belle at the ball."

The Marine laughed and slapped him on the shoulder again, making his way out of the dimly lit room.

John tensed up even more, clutching his P-90 to his chest and scrambling as quietly as he could into the closest T-junction. He listened as the grunt whistled his way back to the populated parts of Atlantis.

He heard Rodney's footsteps and stepped out of the shadows.

"Colonel!" Even if he hadn't been the most suspicious of people, the dull flush that washed over Rodney's face would have alerted him to the fact that something was up.

"Rodney. What are you doing out here all by your lonesome? If you want to explore, you know it makes sense to take someone with you."

Rodney cleared his throat. "Yes, well, I didn't feel the need to alert any of my staff and...and hey? What are you doing here? And why the hell should I have to tell you? I'm capable of taking care of myself, Colonel."

"So I saw."

It was funny, but John hadn't noticed the steady sound of water dripping from a leaking pipe before.

Rodney's eyes narrowed. "You saw?"

It was typical of McKay to believe in the whole 'the best offence is a good defence' principal of discussion, and John had to admire him for looking so outraged when he should be embarrassed. If it had been John, he would have been mortified.

"Well? Did you?"

John nodded. "Yeah."

"And?"

John shrugged. "And nothing. I saw. You know, you really shouldn't be out here alone."

Rodney's grin was feral. "If you _saw_ , then you'd know that I wasn't by myself. What's it to you anyway? Going to cause trouble? Going to punish him? Going to beat me up?"

John could feel his own lips tightening over his teeth. "No, no and no. I don't give a damn what you do, but the safety of you, and everyone else on this expedition is my concern. Find another place to get your kicks, just make sure you do it where no one can find you and it's closer to Operations. I'm not gonna be the one who has to tell Elizabeth you got sucked by a Wraith while you were getting sucked by someone else."

Rodney glanced down John's front and stopped at the obvious bulge being displayed in the front on his pants. "Jealous, Colonel? Want me to call him back? He's quite good, although I've found that most military types are. All that repression, you know?"

He leaned in, breath moist and hot against John's ear. "When they let loose, they don't hold anything back. I find it quite...invigorating."

"Back off, McKay," John growled.

"What are you going to do, eh? Punch me? Hurt me? Bite me?" Rodney said, lowering his mouth to John's neck and sucking hard.

John pushed him away, hard enough so that Rodney slammed back into the wall. He could feel his chest tightening and he drew in ragged breath after ragged breath.

Rodney didn't look hurt. He straightened up, picked up his bag and adjusted his sleeves. "Yes, well, it's not like I didn't see that coming."

"McKay - "

"Shut up. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear your stupid excuses or your lies or your complete and utter _bullshit_. You've got nothing to say that I want to hear. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go be brilliant somewhere."

"Rodney!"

Rodney stopped in his tracks, angry eyes passing curiously over John's taut body.

"I meant what I said. Don't let me find you doing this again."

Rodney's smile was condescending and brittle and oh so very hot. John craved his anger just as much as he craved his mouth.

"Believe me, Colonel. The next time I plan on doing this, I'll be coming to find you."

~~~

They couldn't really avoid each other over the next few days, but John found that he and Rodney spoke less. Teyla seemed to notice, so he let her pick up the slack in the conversations they had when they'd have a team lunch together either before or after a mission. At other meals, Rodney would be eating with the other scientists and talking up a storm; emphatic hands and full mouth moving furiously, his table occasionally breaking out into loud laughter.

John slid his tray onto a table next to Lorne, casually keeping an eye on that corner of the room. Too late, he noticed the other Marine sitting at the table. The guy he'd seen with Rodney.

"Sir," they both said, between bites.

"Lorne," he nodded, slinging a leg over the chair and lowering himself down, "and . . . ?"

"Dolson, sir," the Marine said. " Sergeant Pete Dolson. Came over on the Daedelus with the last batch.

John's gaze travelled over Dolson's face, flicked over his shoulder to where Rodney was sitting, then back at the Marine. "How are you finding it here at Atlantis, Dolson?"

Dolson smiled. "Fine, sir. People here are very friendly."

"Are they now?" Dolson looked like every other jarhead John had worked with - broad-shouldered, short-haired, square-jawed - just an interchangeable piece of the military machine. "Where you from?"

The Marine's mouth opened to speak, then his hand went to his ear in an unconscious gesture that John wondered if they'd ever lose, if they ever managed to leave this galaxy in one piece.

"Yes, ma'am," Dolson said, his eyes focussed just down and right of centre enough so you knew he was responding to whoever it was on the other end of the mike. He lowered his cutlery next to his half-finished meal and stood up. "Sorry, sir, I'm needed on Level 14. Sir," he added, nodding in Lorne's direction.

"Leave the tray, Dolson. I'll get it," Lorne said, filching a breadroll. "See you at sixteen hundred."

John watched him walk through the lines being formed from the late lunch crowd. He had an easy type of grace to his movement.

"Good man," Lorne said, finishing the stolen breadroll. "Has his head on straight."

"Yeah," John drawled and looked over at Rodney who was staring back at him across the room, eyes alert and watchful, mouth twisted in a sardonic grin. "Yeah, I have no doubt."

~~~

Just before his evening run, John found himself in front of the noticeboard outside of the main hallway to the labs. Apart from the usual requests for exotic food materials and offers to swap clothing, there were sign-up sheets for a myriad of clubs; volleyball, chess, film appreciation, book appreciation, martial arts, card nights, cooking classes (although John doubted much cooking got done with their strictly limited quantities and varieties of food), scrabble, a vocal group -- the list was endless and eclectic. He figured that soldiers and scientists made interesting bedfellows. He scanned the lists, looking for Rodney's name, wondering if he'd find it next to Dolson's and considered adding his name to a list or two.

Zelenka said a cheery "Good evening, Colonel" as he made his way down the hall.

"Zelenka. Hey, Radek!" John called out, jogging to catch up. "Have you seen Rodney?"

Zelenka frowned. "Not for the last hour or so. He said something about going for walk."

"A walk, huh?"

"He walks," Zelenka replied, shrugging one shoulder. "Would not believe it myself but he says it clears his head."

"This . . . walking," John asked, very carefully keeping his face impassive, "is it something he's just taken up?"

"No, has always walked. Has been a habit since we got here. I call it his 'constitutional.' Rodney takes walk, gets some air, clears his head; the rest of us get peace and less chance of dying suddenly from ulcer." Radek looked at him closely. "Is something wrong? I was on my way to dinner but - "

"No, it's fine," John said, rolling his shoulders, going through the motions of warming up for his run. "Nothing that can't wait. You have a good dinner."

"Colonel," Zelenka said, halting him as he was about to turn away. "When Rodney walks, he usually ends up near the desalination plant. Is Dock 4, just off Corridor 42. If you have difficulty finding him, you could always 'borrow' a life-signs detector. What's the good of being head of military if you don't get some benefit, yes?"

John smiled. "Thanks, Radek."

~~~

"Can I help you?" Even over the relaxing, repetitive hiss of bubbles popping near his feet, John could hear the pissiness in Rodney's voice.

"Nope. Just getting some exercise." He stretched his neck and legs, watching Rodney from the corner of his eye.

"You don't usually jog out here," Rodney said, glancing up at him then abruptly looking away.

John sat next to him; close enough so they could hear each other without raising their voices, but not near enough that Rodney would be forced to smell his sweat. "Thought I'd get some air."

"I know what you're doing," Rodney said snidely. "You're not being very clever about it."

John's eyes narrowed. "And just what is it that you think I'm doing?"

"Watching me," Rodney growled. "Stalking me."

"What the -- ? Are you kidding me? Sorry, McKay, I didn't realise that I was on your property. Next time I'll check the Atlantis directory before I come outside."

Rodney's mouth opened, then shut with a snap. He looked out over the ocean. "Sorry. I don't mean to -- , look, I don't know how to deal with you anymore."

John leaned back on his hands, affecting a more casual posture than he felt. "You can deal with me the same way you've always dealt with me. I've got no problems with you, Rodney."

This time when Rodney looked at him, John looked back. They stared at each other in silence until Rodney flushed, getting up quickly. John put out a hand and clasped Rodney's thigh, steadying him when it looked as if he were going to stumble. Rodney pulled away abruptly.

"Good night. I'm off to bed so - good night."

"Going straight back to your room, McKay?"

Rodney's eyes narrowed. "Yes. Want to walk me there, make sure I get there safe and sound?"

John lay on his back, tucking his hands under his head as he looked up at the stars. "Goodnight, Rodney."

"Pleasant evening, Colonel." Rodney's goodbye was mumbled as he hurried away.

~~~

The next time John found Rodney, he hadn't been deliberately looking for him. John had made a conscious effort to stay away from the corridor system where he'd previously seen Rodney and Dolson and, if he occasionally used a life-signs detector to scan the area, it was only because he was concerned for his teammates' safety.

It was after midnight, and he'd just finished catching up on reports in his office. The last few weeks had been wonderfully emergency-free, and he was going to take the opportunity for a sleep-in on what was ostensibly Monday. He figured he deserved the break. John took a short cut through the control centre, nodding at the skeleton crew and headed towards the transporter that would get him closest to his room.

The wing used by the scientists was dark; lights switched off to conserve power, but he glimpsed a soft glow through an opaque window and decided to turn off the lamp before Rodney realised that one of his own had forgotten his very long, very serious _'Shut it down if you don't need it, lest we run out of power and die'_ speech.

The door opened soundlessly and John saw something he'd been thinking about on and off since he'd arrived at Atlantis, but never from this perspective. Rodney was on his knees, slowly mouthing the material that covered the guy's crotch. The light was dim enough that John could identify the fact that the uniform wasn't military; the new guy's slim build was covered in the blue of the Science team. John attributed the sudden pain in his chest to the shock of all the air in his lungs escaping in one silent gasp.

One of Rodney's hands moved delicately up the guy's chest, thumb caressing through fabric, the other was methodically lowering the guy's zipper and pushing his pants aside. From John's angle, he couldn't see skin, but the change of expression on the guy's face was enough to let John know when Rodney hit paydirt.

He backed out, just as quietly as he'd arrived, and slumped against the wall in the still empty corridor. What the hell was he going to do? If he left now, there was always a chance that they wouldn't be busted by a curious patrol but that was fifty-fifty. If he did interrupt, he would be embarrassed, the mystery scientist would be alarmed, and Rodney would be furious.

John could feel a tension headache starting to throb at the base of his skull. Damn Rodney for only adhering to the spirit of the law - did he want to be busted? Did he think that Elizabeth, or his mighty, much-needed brain, was enough to protect him if the wrong people found him in a compromising position? Fuck McKay. John was only trying to protect him. He'd seen too much to know it wasn't worth it. At some point, everyone needed to grow up and face reality. There was wanting, and there was accepting. Rodney needed a lesson in controlling his baser instincts.

The door slid open and John stepped off the wall, fumbling with the folder in his hand. The scientist froze, then approached him.

"Colonel Sheppard. I didn't know anyone was still around."

"You'll find that Atlantis is a city that never sleeps -- " John said, gazing at the guy's chest for a nametag.

"Williams. Shaun Williams," the man said, offering up a handshake that was as smooth as his accent. "I've heard a lot about you, Colonel. You're very much admired by both the military and the civilians on this base. I'd be interested in hearing the stories from a first-hand perspective, if you'd like to get together."

John pulled his hand away slowly. The guy was good - just enough innuendo to let a person know he was interested, not enough to get him into serious trouble.

"Well, thanks for the offer, Williams, but I'm afraid I don't get much time for that sort of thing. There's a lot of people here now - "

"I'm sure you could make the time."

John's smile seemed to crack his face. "No, I really couldn't. There's very few scientists I work with on a regular basis and - "

"Doctor McKay."

"Yeah, he's one of them," John drawled.

"He's on your team," Williams said.

John nodded.

Williams nodded back, his eyebrows lifting sardonically. "Doctor McKay really is a team player. I had no idea - "

"Shouldn't you be getting back to your quarters?" John asked. "I wouldn't want you to be late for work tomorrow. I hear your boss can be a real tyrant."

Williams' eyes cut back to the closed door. He looked John up and down, then nodded. "Yes. It's not a good idea to get on Doctor McKay's bad side."

"I'll put in a good word for you," John said, giving a small wave. "Stay safe."

As Williams disappeared into the transporter, John felt his hands relax. He looked down - the spine of the files had been twisted in his grip. John noticed that the light which had first caught his eye had been switched off and watched as the door of the lab slide open.

"What the -- ?" Rodney said, as John grabbed him by the front of the jacket and pushed him back into the dark room.

John ignored the grunt Rodney made as he slammed him into the wall. "McKay, I told you - "

"Sheppard? What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Trying to save you from a beating, or worse. Do you _want_ to be caught? Do you think you're so special that you won't be slapped down and shipped home just like any other fag on this mission?"

Rodney strained against John's grip, their legs locking. John was alert enough to the situation to realise that they hadn't started yelling at each other yet, but it would probably happen soon.

Rodney's hands gripped John's wrists, tight and hot. "You don't get to tell me what to do. This is none of your business."

" _Everything_ about you is my business, Rodney," John panted. "What you do, where you go, who you talk to - "

"You're jealous!" Rodney said. "But that's just -- , I mean, I thought -- "

"Don't flatter yourself, McKay," John replied, hoping his voice was steady enough to hide his lie. "You're not my type, in a whole bunch of ways."

"You are," Rodney said, awe apparent in his voice. "Maybe not of me, but the situation. You wish it were you that -- "

"Shut up, McKay."

"You want...oh my god, you want to -- "

"I said shut up!" And damn, John should have known better than to try and have this conversation now. He was on the verge of yelling, and the room wasn't soundproof enough to protect them from the hearing of patrols.

"You do," Rodney said, releasing John's wrists. "You do, you so do."

John felt Rodney's hands stroke up his neck and dig into his hair. His face was tugged forward and Rodney's mouth briefly touched his before John pulled back, ignoring the pain in his scalp caused by Rodney's tight grip. "You gonna kiss me after you sucked that guy off? There's only one slut here, McKay, and it's not me."

And just like that, he was free. Rodney's fingers left his hair and John instantly took a step back. In the shadows, he could see Rodney sink into the wall.

"That's not - " Rodney said, voice strained and low. "That's not very nice. I'd forgotten - "

"Yeah, well I hadn't."

John wanted to leave; wanted to go to the nearest empty room and punch holes in the wall, wanted to grab a machine gun and fire bullets into the ocean, but he couldn't. He felt as gut-punched as Rodney sounded.

"If I had thought there was a chance, _any_ chance of you thinking of me like that, I would have..."

John rubbed his dry eyes. "What would you have done, Rodney?"

Rodney grabbed his arm, stumbling over his words in his sincerity. "I never would have, I mean, I thought you were only trying to be a dick. I had no idea - "

"There's no idea to take, McKay," John said, pulling away and straightening his spine. "I told you - stop doing things that are going to get you into trouble, or else I won't be able to protect you."

"And what about you?" Rodney asked. "Are you protecting yourself as well?"

John could smell both his and Rodney's sweat, and it was like he'd flashed back to the time when he was transforming into a Wraith bug. Everything seemed clearer, cleaner, sharper in the dark. He felt like he could taste the rapid pulse of Rodney's heartbeat in the air, see the levels of need and confusion rising in Rodney's body as well as his own.

"Goodnight, Rodney."

"John, please - "

"Don't call me. You don't get to call me that."

He found his way out of the room using sense memory and fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

~~~

If things had been strained between them in the past, they were even more so now. John made sure he was polite at all times, and Rodney looked like he was teetering between apologising and going ballistic. No one in the city seemed to notice that their military leader and their head of Science were locked in a silent, unforgiving battle.

When John scanned the city using his life-signs detector now, Rodney's blob was always alone at night. That should have made him happy, but his pleasure was overlaid with a sickening tinge of guilt. He continued telling himself that he'd only acted on Rodney's behalf, and that he hadn't been jealous of anything Rodney alluded to. He was adamant he wasn't fooling himself.

When Rodney knocked on his bedroom door a week later, he wasn't surprised. He'd been expecting a night time visit since their confrontation in the lab.

"I'd like to come in, please, and before you turn me down, just know that I will continue to harangue you until you say yes, so you can either let me in, or we can go back to my room, but we will talk."

John kept his face neutral, and thought about all the times he'd let a door close in Rodney's face. "Harangue?"

"Harass. Annoy. Stalk. And yes, I'm aware of the irony in using that word when I've already used it on you, so please, let me in?"

John stepped back and returned to his bed, turning down his music. He tilted his head towards the mostly clean sofa.

"Thank you," Rodney said formally, sitting on the edge of the cushion and clasping his hands together.

John snuck looks at Rodney while Rodney snuck looks at John's room.

"You wanna start this any time soon, McKay? I've got to get up early and so far, you're not very entertaining."

"Rodney."

John raised an eyebrow.

"I'd like you to call me Rodney. You do sometimes and, well, I was wondering if I could call you John."

John sighed and rubbed his hands across his eyes. "Say what you need to say, _Rodney_. I wasn't kidding about having to be up early."

"John," Rodney said, almost experimentally, pausing to see if John would object. "I've had some very conflicting thoughts this past month. On one hand, I'm disgusted that you would even attempt to curtail my behaviour in a matter that has absolutely no bearing on you. On the other...well, I seem to like it."

Rodney peered at John through his eyelashes, mouth set in tight line.

John leaned back onto the pillows, feigning a nonchalance he didn't feel. "Don't really care what you feel. I had legitimate concerns about your behaviour - "

"Now, see! If you were really concerned, you would have handled things differently."

"What, like - march a platoon of Marines in on you and your 'special friends'? I want you to stop, not die, Rodney."

"There's other things you could have done," Rodney said, turning red. "You could have spoken to Elizabeth, asked her to have a quiet word in my ear. You could have walked in on me, both times, thus ensuring the fact that both men would have never again wanted to - my god, both men! I really am a slut!"

"Look," John replied, shifting uncomfortably. "I shouldn't have said that."

"No," Rodney interjected, "you're right. I _am_ a slut. Two people in less than a month...I've never been so popular in my life! And they, wow, they hardly know me. Do you think that's it?" he asked earnestly. "The ratio of exposure to my personality versus my ability to pull seems to be inversely correlated. Am I that annoying to be around?"

John really didn't want to get into a conversation where he had to rate Rodney's fuckability, now or in the past. He moved to the edge of the bed. "Rodney - "

"And another thing," Rodney said, cutting him off. "I shouldn't have said what I said. I was rude, and usually I'm more tactful when it comes to handling delicate situations." At the look of incredulity passing over John's face, he exclaimed, "I am! Just because you're repressed, or depressed, or - "

"McKay," John warned.

"You've got to help me work it out," Rodney pleaded. "Seriously. I've got no idea what's going on inside your head, and I really want to know."

John fiddled with the seam of his pants. "Nothing to work out. Everything I said still stands, and the reasons I gave you were valid."

"But they're not all the reasons."

John snorted. "You're so sure of yourself, McKay. That's what I - " He shut his mouth.

Time seemed to stretch out uncomfortably. "That's what you like about me? Because, seriously, no one has ever admitted that confidence is a turn-on. Or arrogance. I'm pretty sure I've been called arrogant in the past."

'I didn't say it was a turn-on," John said softly.

"You also didn't say you liked me," Rodney replied, just as soft. "John? Can I sit next to you?"

Without waiting for an answer, Rodney moved to his side, sitting close enough so that their shoulders were touching. Once again, John was struck by the fact that Rodney's shoulders were so broad compared to his own. He really didn't think he was supposed to notice those sorts of things.

Rodney clasped his hand. John tried to pull it back but Rodney held tight. "Listen, just listen to me for a moment. I think you and I are coming at this from two different angles."

"Yeah?" John asked, allowing himself to be entranced by the feeling of his hand being carefully held between Rodney's solid palms.

"I get the feeling that our...experiences, if you will, are completely different. You see this as an aberration of character, a momentary lapse of reason - "

"Don't put words in my mouth."

" - while I see this as an opportunity to...to get to know someone better."

"You sure looked like you were getting to know Dolson and Williams better."

Rodney flushed, but didn't pull away. "I can assure you that they were one-off occurrences. Like I said, I've never been so popular in the past, and the pragmatist in me points out the fact that pickings are a little slim in this galaxy."

"So they weren't just overwhelmed by your manliness?"

Rodney's eyes bulged. "You're joking about this? Is this something to joke about? I'm trying to be sincere. I don't..."

"Usually like men? Do this often? C'mon, McKay, you can do better than that. Where's the courage of your convictions," John lilted. "I haven't had many of these conversations before, but I know how it goes. And like I said, it's none of my business."

"I want it to be your business. I want you to be jealous, and yes, I know, it's very high school of me, but what I meant to say was I don't date men. Men are for...for fun, and convenience and releasing pressure. I've never dated a man."

"Then that's another thing we have in common, Rodney," John said.

"I want to," Rodney said, clearing his throat. "I want to date you. I want to be nice to you, and go out of my way to do nice things _for_ you, and I want you to do the same thing for me."

"Sounds...nice, Rodney," John said slowly. "But it ain't gonna happen. I don't date men."

"But would you? Could you do it for me?"

John looked down at his hand, still held in Rodney's sweaty grasp. He shook his head. "McKay, you've got some nerve."

"I know," Rodney agreed hurriedly. "I really don't have any excuse, and I've probably got a snowball's chance in hell, and I'm embarrassing myself just by asking, but please? In case you didn't notice, I'm begging you. Words cannot express my mortification at the sound of those words coming out of my mouth."

"So why are you saying them? You've got to know that I can only turn you down."

Rodney pressed his face into John's neck. "Because I have hope, Colonel. I have great hopes that you are a more forgiving person than I will ever be, and that whatever it is you like about me is enough to counteract everything you don't, and most of all, because I really, really want to. I don't want anyone else. I want you. And even if you turn me down, that's not going to change the fact that I'm done with all that. Say yes. Say yes to me, John, please."

"Wow," John said. "You sound totally desperate."

Rodney laughed sadly, warm puffs of air travelling down John's throat. "I sound pathetic. And needy. And so far away from cool I might actually go around a full one eighty and end up as suave as you."

"You really know how to make a guy feel special, Rodney," John said, taking his hand out of Rodney's lap. Very gently, he put his arm around Rodney, tightening his grip on Rodney's waist.

"Is that a yes?" Rodney whispered.

"It's a maybe," John replied. He lifted his shoulder, nudging Rodney's face up. "You know, I'm really not as fucked up as you think I am."

"Oh, of course," Rodney said, nodding furiously. "Again, I'm not too cluey on the whole -- "

"Shut up, Rodney."

"Yes, John."

~~~

As John was finishing his last repetition of sit-ups, Rodney twitched, mumbled something into the pillow and rolled over. When he opened his eyes, John could see that they were as red-rimmed as his own.

"Sleep okay?" John panted, pushing through the last two and laying back on the floor, taking deep breaths.

"I'm so disappointed," Rodney said with a croaky voice. "All this time, I thought your impressive abdomen was the work of genes, not exercise."

John grinned. "You'll use any excuse not to work out."

Rodney snorted and rolled onto his back. "And no, thanks for asking, I didn't sleep well. You take up a lot of room."

"It's my bed."

"Well then, obviously you're not used to sharing."

John stood up, picking the legs of his boxers away from his sweaty thighs. "Obviously."

"You leaving already?" Rodney asked, stretching. His feet arched, causing the sheet to be pulled down further along his body.

"I thought I might shower first. People seem to get offended if you stink up the air next to them," John replied, focussing on the line of hair that led down to Rodney's pubic bone.

"Good idea," Rodney replied, yawning and closing his eyes.

When John returned to the room, naked and clean, Rodney was awake and still flat on his back. "Come here," he said, a sleepy grin on his face.

John dropped his towel on the floor and moved on top of him, braced above Rodney's now naked body on hands and knees.

"Did you brush your teeth?" Rodney asked, running his fingers through John's damp hair.

"Yeah," John said, nuzzling Rodney's throat.

"I didn't," Rodney replied, scratching up and down John's neck. "I would have - I'm not usually so inconsiderate -- "

"Shhh," John said, licking across his open mouth. He dipped his tongue in, felt Rodney's push soft in return, felt Rodney's hands rub down his back and onto his arse. He breathed in deeply through his nose and lowered himself down, fitting his body into the space left between Rodney's thighs.

Rodney's hands left his body and came back slick, fingers travelling down his cleft, delving between his cheeks. John pushed one knee up the mattress, letting him in, letting him get deeper.

"You're so beautiful," Rodney said. John had noticed last night that Rodney liked to talk while making love, but hadn't really been paying attention to what he'd been saying.

"Shut up, Rodney," John said, rocking back and forth. The hair on Rodney's stomach scratched his cock in all the right places, and he was getting a good rhythm going.

"No, I get to say these things. We're dating, and I get to say anything I want to you. You're beautiful, and kind, and smart, and I love doing this to you - "

"Rodney, please - "

"You are," Rodney said, fingers pushing in hard and deep. "You make me feel so good, and I want to make you feel good - "

"You do, Rodney, I swear you do, just - "

"Let me," Rodney panted into John's ear. "Let me love you."

John froze, body poised on the edge of release. Rodney whimpered and pushed his leaking cock up into John's stomach.

"Rodney, I - " John bit into his shoulder.

"Yeah," Rodney said, changing the angle of penetration, abruptly stopping mid-thrust, tickling his fingers over John's prostate. "Yeah, that's it."

The change in pressure was enough for John to explode, coming thick and hard over Rodney's stomach. Rodney's mouth clamped down on his, groaning and kissing wet. John clutched onto his shoulders and rode out the wave.

Eventually their kisses became softer, slower. John went to roll off but Rodney's arms tightened on his waist. "Don't go."

"You know I've got to make an early start today."

"That's not what I meant," Rodney said, looking way too attractive for someone who was unshaven and unwashed. "I'm sorry if I'm being too forward too soon, but _technically_ I didn't say that I lov - "

"I get it, Rodney."

"Right, of course you do. You're a very smart man."

John rubbed the top of his foot against Rodney's shin. "Compliments? At this hour?"

Rodney's hands moved up his back, settling on his shoulder blades where they petted nervously. "I don't want to scare you off."

"I'm not scared of you," John smiled, lightly rubbing his freshly-shaven face against Rodney's prickly cheek.

"You're not?" Rodney asked, sounding slightly outraged.

"Nope, sorry. Is that going to be a problem?"

Rodney turned his head, kissing John on the cheek. John shifted and rubbed their lips together. Rodney looked sated and happy. John wasn't sure what he looked like, but felt more at peace then he had for a long time.

"No," Rodney said, beaming. "Not a problem at all."

"You know that this is still a really bad idea," John felt compelled to point out.

"Yes, well, any scientist worth their salt likes to test all variables. Chances are I'm going to be very good at this dating thing. And you too, of course. I'm sure you'll do fine."

John sighed and rested his forehead on Rodney's collarbone, feeling Rodney's chest rise and fall beneath his. Chances were Rodney was deluding himself as to how easy things were going to be from now on. John wasn't sure, but he didn't think they'd be as bad as they probably should be. He wasn't exactly sure why.

He figured he'd work out it with Rodney later.


End file.
